What did Kansas do to deserve this?!

Link. Did they offer up their first born?

“Free Internet: We know that not everyone is ready to commit to a gig just yet. But we want to make sure you have the opportunity to upgrade when you’re ready. So if you pre-register and your fiberhood gets installed, you’ll have the option to get a 5 megabit per second (Mbps) connection for zero monthly charge, and your home will be wired and ready for the switch. The Free Internet option will cost $0 per month, although you will have to pay a $300 construction fee (which can either be paid at once, or in $25 monthly installments).”